Two weeks ago my partner put me out of his house saying that he wanted his life back. Is there any hope for us?
We fell in love almost at first sight and although we are both older – he is 53 and I am 50, our short relationship has had a few dramas already. We are both fairly opinionated strong personalities. We have had several arguments that have ended in long silences until we cool down and make up. Alcohol has played a pert in most as I tend to become emotional after a few glasses of wine. He hates that! Otherwise, we are a loving happy couple. We spent 24 hours a day in each others company and I think it was a bad idea to move in with him so quickly. I rented out my flat and now have to rent somewhere myself. I sold my car as he had two to choose from. I know how deeply we love each other but |I wonder if there is a chance for our relationship to work. He always says it’s his way or the highway!
It sounds like you have two hard headed people bucking one another due to strong personalities. If you already KNOW the wine isn’t helping things either, that’s one thing that could be stopped & at least may help. (Unless there’s a drinking problem!) It sounds as tho you are the one who is going to have to do one heck of a lot of compromising in order to make this work if at all. One of you is going to have to give in to the other. IF it’s worth it, it sounds like you’re the one who is really going to have to make the most changes for it to work. If it’s not worth it, then I’d get out of it while you’re still fairly young & find someone who is more compatible with you. I’d say to weight the pros & cons of if it’s honestly worth it, if you really do want him, OR if you’d be better off meeting someone else & being much happier. See what outweighs what & go from there. He’s NOT the only man in the world, I’m sure in time you just could meet someone who would make you happy. The decision sounds like it’s yours tho…best to you…:)
In a relationship it cannot be my way or the highway. You are partners and everything needs to be worked out together. I would not be with someone who feels like that.
You were foolish for giving up your home and car for a man you weren’t married to and have no legal recourse with.
Yes there is hope if you like being in a dictatorship relationship because he has already told you its his way or the highway.
Relationships can be complicated, add alcohol and drama and it can crumble even the best of relationships. It sounds as if the relationship is worth saving. Why not allow things to cool down then have a serious talk with him. He also has to see that to be in a relationship takes compromise, his attitude "my way or the highway" is not good for you as an equal partner. I’d say you both have issues that need to be worked on. You say after a few glasses of wine you become emotional? You have to determine if drinking wine is causeing you to cause him to withdraw from you. From what you wrote, it sounds as if this is what is happening. You both do sound to love each other very much and it would be sad to let go of something that otherwise can be a loving relationship and companion for your later years. Call a marital counselor and proceed from there even if you are the one to go alone at first. There is hope for you both, I know he loves you just as much you love him just from what you wrote, and he is missing the good in the relationship too, but is feeling overwhelmed by the drama you both bring to it. Don’t let go of something that is so special and that could be worked on. I know you are hurting and it cannot be easy and you must enjoy that glass of wine from time to time. If the drinking is not a problem if you can cut down and know your limit so that you are in control of your emotions then see if you both can come to a compromise on this. If the drinking is something you cannot control then you might want to consider joining an AA group in your area. We all are human that bring into a relationshp some faults, the thing here is to admit them and to care enough to work on them. Good luck hun.
When you’re in a relationship, your life is different than when you were single. And if you don’t get that, you don’t understand the nature of BEING in a relationship.
Sounds like your guy doesn’t, if he says, "It’s my way or the highway." Uh, no, it’s a multi-lane highway with many on ramps and off ramps and winding roads that you are both equally entitled to drive.
It’s fine to be strong and opinionated… but you have to respect the other’s right to an opinion, too. My husband and I are both strong and opinionated, which has caused arguments sometimes, but we fundamentally respect the other’s right to their own mind and to sometimes feel differently from the other on a topic. If the topic is important, we work it out. If it’s not important, we let it go.
he’s 53 yrs old
and a fella
+ he has a mantra: my way or the highway
Q: do you really think that he is going to change?
you are 50 yrs old
you’ve lived an emotion filled life so far and enjoyed it
Q: Do you really think you are going to morph into Ms Yes Sir?
You could see if this relationship will roll living apart……
But that’s about the end of the road