Im 29 and recently had a bad breakup a month ago after a 5 year relationship. I am now single and struggling to afford living on my own and am trying to turn my life around. The logical answer is that I move back to get back on my feet but there are other issues.

The reason I have so much debt is partly from being at home when I was younger. I was brought up by a single parent and felt the pressures when my mom wanted to achieve things. My sister (younger) and I are in a lot of debt from paying the mortgage and bills and I feel we are losing out on life.

When I left home about 2 years ago I was basically kicked out because my mom did not approve of my partner and I wouldnt break up with her. I had had enough of not having a life and was starting to resent it. The financial burden was mounting and I felt unappreciated. Relations were very strained and for a while I was cut off. I however kept trying to keepin touch and we are now civil.

After my breakup my mom offered that I come back to get back on my feet. I am uncomfortable.

My mom has moved out and gone to uni in another town. I would not have considered going home otherwise. However she comes back on weekends and is quite controlling within her household. Im worried about possible conflict. My sister is still at home and saddled with the responsibility for the bills. I spoke to her recently and she has a lot on her plate. If I move back I would be in effect be sharing with my sister and it would help her out.

Having spoken to her she doesnt seem that bothered whether I move in or not. We are not that close. There is also a potential tenant in the pipeline who might help her. I also have to consider her independance

I would also be losing my independence and am worried about expectations after being helped. I have nice furnished flat and I would need to sell everything and move back home.

Emotionally I feel like a failure, its too much at once – Losing my relationship and now my home. My self worth is really down.

I may not be ready to help and end up in a worse situation emotionally and financially. Also where I live is cheap. Really cheap. This is because the rent hasnt gone up since I have been a continuous tenant for 2 years. I know for a fact Id never find a place this cheap when I move back out. Going home would save only save me about £200/month. This is because I do not intend on freeloading. Its not a lot, but its a start.

In the long run will I have saved? What if relations at home go sour after a few months? Am I jumping into a worse situation? That is the other issue.

I need to get my life back on track. I dont know what is best. I feel a bit selfish. Do I move back home and help my family out but with the unknown stress that may or may not happen?

Or do I tough it out, be selfish and tread water indefinately?

Im too emotionally attached to my situation. I need practical advice.

Thanks in advance

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