My husband left when the going got tough….?
One week ago. We have had problems for some time now. He is 24 and just doesn’t seem to want to grow up. We have rent to pay, he has his dog, he has to buy a new vehicle. I relied on him a lot because his wage was much better than mine.
But he has been abusive emotionally and I decided I had enough.
So, he left me with nothing, not any food or anything. I was starving. I managed to sell the tv so I could eat.
Now I am getting my strength back and decided that I am going to get a better paying job and I will go it alone here.
My husband messaged me yesterday to collect his things he said if I didn’t give them to him he will get a police escort. So do you know what I did? I washed , dried and folded all of it, and placed it neatly in bags, and enclosed a card wishing him all the best in his life.
Haven;t heard from him and I doubt I ever will. But what I am wanting to know is, is there any chance he may realise what he has done in this time away from me, or do you think this is a guy who I will never hear from ever again? I am in Canada I am from England and so I immigrated here he sponsored me.
Any advice appreciated. Would like your input. I am very lonely.
Hi Diane,
My email address is carrie.ohanlon@yahoo.co.uk, would love to email back and forth. Really appreciate your knowledge on this.
x
An emotionally abusive man who abandons his wife and then threatens her with the police is almost certainly too mentally ill to come to any positive realizations.
You sound like an angel and I’m very sorry to hear what you’re going through. From the little you’ve told me about DH I can safely assume that he is a toxic individual, and while it’s natural to want him back you are really better off without him. Keep your chin up and go for that higher paying job. Work on taking care of yourself and good things will come. Good luck in the new year.
I suspect there’s another side to the story that we aren’t hearing that might explain things.
You sound like a really nice person. What you did with your husband’s clothes was the decent thing to do. Your husband is an immature jerk who will probably never realize what a great wife he had. Don’t give him a second thought move on and find a great guy that will love you. You deserve a man that wants to create a good happy life with you.
I think the biggest mistake you can make is wonder if he will regret what he has done or even realize what he has done. Even if he does, this marriage is over. He was emotionally abusive and left you with nothing. You wished him well in the note should he ever decide to pick it up. Other than that – close the door and don’t look back. If you don’t, you will be continueing a pattern of allowing yourself to be abused.
Oh, and the police escort…a scare tactic – more emotional abuse. Police are not going to spend their time helping him retrieve the laundry that he willfully left in your living space.
Don feel lonely, Please u should feel relieved. why would u want to be or hear from someone who obviously dont care how u feel. Take this moment to make it all about you! get an awesome job! so awesome that u can buy yourself nice clothing and a brand new car. Take this time to realize that you are awesome! a DIVA! Who cares what he will think in the long run. People like that reap what they sow! one day or another he will realize how u felt and worse! All you need to do is say to yourself that you are awesome everyday and do what YOU have to do! And yes u will find someone who will treat u like a queen as long as you treat youself like one!
First of all you are a very good person
Second of all Yes he will but not for a very l;ong time.
Sounds like you better put on a red dress, try on them high heels, cause you are in need of another " sponsor" (sugar daddy)
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I’m from the UK and was dating and planning on marrying a man from the US. Texas to be precise. I backed out literally at the last minute due to his unreasonable, manipulative behaviour and emotional abusive ways. A case of Mr Prince Charming turned out to be Mr. Abuser! We’re much older than you but the problem is the same. Do you have family here in the UK that you could contact? Do you want to stay in the States or come home?
I sense you are in turmoil in your emotions about him, as I was. Wondering if he loves you and will return and it will all be ok again. It won’t. Trust me. I gave him enough chances when we were together but I didn’t leave the UK….thank God. When he knew I wasn’t leaving for him, he ditched me, found some local American woman and married her within 8wks. As far as I know they are still together, 12mths on, but I have no idea. I just pity the poor sod for not knowing him as I did.
To answer your question, no I don’t think he will realise what he has done to you and I don’t think he will even care. The best thing you could do is contact your family and get back home and stop your loneliness.
If you need help I will help all I can from this end.
I am so sorry, but it sounds like it is his loss and your gain eventually. If you ever do hear from him again, don’t ever fall for this again or let him back into your life. If you do, you will teach him that he can come and go as he pleases and that you are strong enough to handle the aftermath. He has no conscience. Anyone who would take the time to plan this and leave you in destitution is not worth your time or your love.
There is a huge problem with women who meet guys from other countries and move to be with them. Clearly they have no history of living together for extended lengths of time and then expect the relationship to work out similarly to a relationship based on years of cohabitating. In this day and age, marriages rarely work out that are based on more. Don’t even bother waiting for him. Either make your way on your own there or go back home. If he had the nerve to leave you alone in a strange country this early in the game, he is not worth it. You should have told the police that he had already taken his clothes and was merely there to harrass you, then gotten a restraining order. (I have given back the clothes before….they looked nice when they moved on…..never again)
Get a lawyer and get your divorce papers sorted.
The real problem here is should you want him back. Seems to me that you are better off without him, in a sense him leaving you is his loss not yours.. Get your self another job, and take each day has they come.. He isn’t worth one cent or one minute more of your time.