i feel trapped here by mom?
I’m 26 years old and married with a child i’m living in a house bought for me by my aunt.I know it sounds great no rent to pay etc but im miserable and so depressed i have no family here as my mom n dad moved away,my oh is from spain and has been living here for 2 years,hes working but hates his job and his life here he has no friends and noone to talk to,we want soo much to move to spain,but the problem is my mom she wants me to stay here but for what?because she thinks we would have a better life here,and im selfish if i take my daughter there,yes we have a nice house but i’ve realised having nice things doesn’t make you happy,also my mom and dad get involved in everything in my life,when some work needed to be done on the house they just take over i dont want them to cos i know they will use it against me to make guilty and plus there always telling me i’m selfish and to grow up but then wont let me.My husband thinks they do this so they can control me,there not supportive in any choices i make and if i dont agree with them then im acting like a child.
I’m so scared to tell them i want to leave,i’m crying everyday and im not eating or sleeping because of this,i know they have helped me alot but i feel for the wrong reasons, i want to have a happy life with my husband and daughter,i also think my mom wants me to stay so she can stay here when she visits.if i go i will give the house back to my aunt cos my mom wouldnt let me sell it or rent it out anyway!
please help i feel so trapped
Also his family live there and we would live with them until we can get our own place,and his brother has offered him a job.Because i have no family here we can never go out alone,but his family love helping out with our daughter.
Move to Spain! Or somewhere else! But do it because YOU want to. I see your problem. Moving to Spain may be giving in to your husband but staying local means giving into your Mom. But really you’re 26 and you have your whole life ahead of you. And you’re a mother yourself so if you find it hard to make the decision on your own grounds, think about what’s best for your daughter. It is a tuffy though. Spain is in recession right now so practically thinking it may not be best to move, but ultimalty Europe is in a real state of recovery right now so I think in the next year or two it’ll be in better shape.
So I reckon the gamble would be worth it in the long run on that front. Moving forward and moving on are terms that have a positive connotation, progress. So if you think of the positives instead of the negatives to make your decision it will help you see the whole thing more realistically. Your mother will get used to your move eventually (the world is small now thanks to email and telephone, you can talk to home whenever you want for next to nothing)and your Aunt’s good house will go to a good home, so I wouldn’t worry about that. Plus, I take it from your writing style that you’re from the States so moving to Spain will also give yourself and your daughter a chance to acquire a new language, broadening your horizons and giving you both better prospects and an advantage for the future. And you’ll always have your citizenship so there’s no reason why you can’t return to live in the homeland in the future armed with all sorts of great European influence.l honestly think you should make the move, but for your own and your daughter’s sake, no one else’s. At least if it doesn’t work out you can always say you tried it. A wise guy once told me that you regret the things you didn’t do, not the things you did and I believe that. And hey, I’m from Britain, there are worse places to go in the world than Europe lol.
Hope it helps….;-)
sell house and move out. best solution
Sorry this may sound harsh but I do not mean it to be, you need to grow up and stop letting your mum ruin your life. Yes she does not want you to go to spain she wants you to stay here so she can keep pretending that you are her little girl. You need to sit down with your oh and have a long discussion and decide the pro’s and con’s of both the choices available to you, have you been to spain with your partner? Perhaps you could go for a holiday and see if there is work available for your partner and see if you like the life style over there. Once you have decided what is BEST for \YOU, your DAUGHTER and your PARTNER then tell your parents calmly but firmly what you have decided and let them deal with it the best they can. Explain to your mum that once you are settled see can come and see you and try to get internet access with a webcam so she can stay in contact and still see your daughter.
hi ya
if its important read the sand dune kids answer it is one of the best I have read on here for some time he talks common sense
be happy stay lucky xx