Its been since Friday last week that I left my partner of 1 year. I think everyone remembers the reasons why I did ie he kept from me for a year his 6 credit cards, the remortgage loan from years back, the payments he hasnt been paying re the house bills, mortgage, car and he wants to sell that house now and move into my flat or rent but what I am worried about is credit ratings for me.
He sends me emails daily trying his hardest to get to some kind of ultimatum but clearly I cant get my head around this, he has lied from the start and admitted to not telling why because I would have run from the beginning. Whats more confusing is he says he was honest from the start with me, but then back tracks and says he wishes he told me sooner because none of this would happened but then if he told me at start he wouldnt know how I would react, Personally I might have been able to deal with it better than this but I have lost trust. Alongside looking at a dating site and emailing someone 3 months on and suggesting drugs to someone over email makes me think twice about him anyway.
My parents agree they couldnt live with someone who lied at the beginning and took a year and the rest to match re his finances and other personal affairs. He writes to me today with this, see what you think:
so are you completely switching me off now … is there not a slim chance that we could find a way of sorting all this out hun … i cant help feeling the way i do about you … life is never easy .. im still going to sort out my issues ( and they are my issues ) .. this does not effect the way i feel or want you or even what i wanted for you and i only ever ever wanted for us to be happy and content .. you probably feel better already having moved out …. but surely you still have some feelings for me .. i know you can be cold and stubborn etc ….
you are lucky in that you have your family close by and somebody to talk to .. i dont have that facility and have to sort things out myself in my own head … yes i have made some mistakes.. i should have got out of my house last feburuary or at least rented out the rooms to help get through the tough months that have been and gone …. this would have helped considerably ….. i opened up to you completely and you ran away … i was being totally honest with you babe … that shows you how much you meant to m e.. ( yes i should have done it sooner i know and im suffering fo rthat now ) i wanted to then show you that i will get it all sorted but wanated you by my side.. now if it meant you moving out yet we could still be togethere i could have taken that on the chin as i dont blame you .. it gives you the space you need and also enables me to sort everything out.. but at the sametime we can still be a couple…. we got on great .. you know that …. we did do loads of things over the last few months… there is no need to throw it all away just like that … we can still have that dream of yours… xxxx the full works …. xxxx
That full works was by the way me wanting to move into another hosue, but paying off his debts would be something we would have to do and after him missing mortgage payments and car payments I could never trust him with money, and would hate to think I had to mother him months of being with him alongside taking money off him to make sure all this was paid off. He has had a debt advisor in to consolidate all his money into one so its easier, but I cant believe how much he owes over the years, he is 41….!?!?
I know what I am doing is right, but cant seem to budge from this negative feeling I have for him and just want to move on from him…
any suggestions
many thanks