I have lived in my partners house since 2008 now, he is still waiting to get it in his name after debts, arrears and payments since his ex left in 2007, he will be there fingers crossed with a bonus in April of this year.
I own my own property and rent it out but this person just pays for the rent through his company and doesnt pay council tax, water, electricity etc, so the rents pays for everything just!
Living with my partner I buy the food, new furniture, new flooring, TV, and almost every month something new comes into the house. However at times he says to me that I should be more grateful as he has a roof over my head, pays for it and water, electricity etc? but then goes on to say he would do this anyway even if I wasnt there….? which brings me to confusion.. if we argue and I need help around the house?
I always get the food, around £100 every other month, do up the house every month with something, could be curtains, blinds, flooring, we both work hard and earn well, but at times he throws it back in my face. ALso he was living in my flat for 6 months to rent out his rooms in his house while sorting out his debts back in early 2009?
What do you think is fair, plus I clean, (useless at cooking lol he cooks) I do the dishes, washing, cat is looked after and house is always imaculate, at times I sense I need to be feeling guilty here what do you think?
I love my work and work a good 40 hour if not more hours per week so does he, I am thinking of bringing in a cleaner and i will pay for this person to help us. But he said no he would do it, but its whenever it suits him and makes the house look untidy until it is clean and I think our standards are somewhat different in that area. I would like to move into something together but he knows he cant get a mortgage as of yet and we are stuck here for a few years perhaps. Whereas my credit rating is good. I have no intentions of selling my property but was thinking of buying a second abroad, as he suggested so we can live out there at times too. He said he does enough for me, roof over my head, buys me christmas presants and looks after me, but it never appears in a nice way or he throws a comment in "i drove you to see your dad (who isnt well) as its my duty to, being your partner?" ….you what is that suppose to make me feel grateful I would prefer if he worded it better!
any suggestions and am I a doormat here?
thank you